Frustrations of online dating
Alas, there’s a big difference between knowing something and living it. I was doing odd jobs for a living and losing faith in my ability to make it as a writer. I certainly didn’t want to be the 40-year-old guy trying to sell a screenplay.Unfortunately, I had to make fifteen years of dating mistakes before I finally figured out how to have a happy relationship. I believe firmly that the road to success is paved with failure, and since I’d failed so prolifically and ultimately found my own way, I feel uniquely qualified to help others have success in love. One month later, I took a job answering phones at an online dating site called JDate. First of all, I was an avid consumer of the product.Believe me, I wish I could get more men to grow and change and want to understand the opposite sex, but, for the most part, they don’t.This is frustrating, and is the impetus for why I give advice to women.Or that men sometimes break up with you if they feel criticized, smothered, or pressured? This is something that you’ve noticed as well: men act in their own self-interests.No matter how unfair, no matter how annoying, and no matter what we say, in 100 years, men are still going to be acting this way.The book got a glowing review in Time Magazine, which led to a piece in USA Today, which led to a segment on CNN.
I am here to offer you the truth about what we’re thinking, why we do what we do, and what you should expect when dating us.Soon, I was selling more JDate subscriptions than the rest of the customer care team combined.Always ambitious and never particularly content in customer service, I asked JDate if they could promote me – maybe they could call me the “Date Doctor” and charge for a consultation to revamp member profiles. And even though I was in film school and working at JDate, I realized I was onto something.After all of my dating and coaching experience, I’d found the most important thing in the world: a partner who saw me the way I saw myself, accepted me at my worst, and shared the same values and humor. As a dating coach, I often get asked whether I’m married, as if that were a qualifier to give good relationship advice. I will say, however, that having gone through the same confusion and frustration as my smart, strong, successful women clients, I have a deep sympathy and respect for them. I give advice from a place of experience, truth and love. I’m only concerned that you find the relationship you deserve.Over 90% of self-help books are written specifically for women.
After thirteen years of coaching, I continue to take great joy in helping women understand men and create lasting relationships. As a writer who worked from home and disliked the bar scene, I believed firmly in online dating as a means of creating an instant social life.